“Gu has read the Confucian classics, possesses an extraordinary memory, and has mastered horsemanship and archery under Emperor Father’s teaching. Empress Mother looks down on gu too much!”
Song Yuan still couldn’t connect the good mother that Gugu spoke of, who had a quick mind and clever hands and who loved her son as much as her life, with herself. What kind of person she was, she knew in her heart.
Rong Ting was very bright and very studious. Many things only needed to be demonstrated once for him to understand, such as taking a bath.
Song Yuan originally thought that she would help him take a bath today. Who could’ve known that, when she led Rong Ting into the bathroom, this stinky child, his face with a “men and women should keep a distance from each other” expression, said to her, “The son avoids the mother, and the daughter avoids the father. Empress Mother, gu was being considerate yesterday, but today gu cannot make an exception.”
“You have quite a lot of rules.” Song Yuan pinched his ear without any qualms. She actually really wanted to pinch his plump cheeks, but she thought of this child’s awkward and stinky temper. Furthermore, they were not very close with each other right now, so she could only give up and settle for the second-best thing.
Song Yuan had also bought a set of pajamas for Rong Ting at the mall this morning.
As a child who transmigrated from the ancient era, Rong Ting didn’t have this era’s sense of aesthetics. For him, no matter what cartoon character it was, they were all pretty much the same.
However, when Song Yuan, in a fit of mischief, deliberately grabbed a set of Kitty1 cat pajamas and held it up to his body, he wrinkled his brows and said with disgust, “Gu does not like it.”
Song Yuan asked him why he didn’t like it.
Rong Ting also couldn’t explain why.
At that time, the employee, thinking that Song Yuan hadn’t seen the boys’ pajamas section, enthusiastically came over, smiling. “This side is the girls’ pajamas. That side has all the boys’ clothing. Your little brother is so handsome, he’ll look good in anything lei!”
Song Yuan: “…”
Rong Ting furiously glowered at Song Yuan: “You teased gu!”
He was truly angry and wasn’t faking it.
The store worker was somewhat dumbfounded. Fortunately, Song Yuan’s skill in coaxing people, especially children, was first-class. Within two minutes, the dark expression on the child’s face turned cloudy. Picking according to her aesthetic sense, Song Yuan chose a spring/fall set of fleece2 pajamas with small yellow chickens. Very cute, very warm!
The light yellow color also would not offend the child’s eyes.
After returning from buying the pajamas, Song Yuan then ran it through the washer and dryer. The weather wasn’t bad today; after an afternoon of drying, it could be worn at night.
Rong Ting washed his body until he was squeaky clean3.
In fact, Rong Ting had never washed himself before, nor had he ever dressed himself. He had had too many servants by his side. As the emperor’s only child, who would dare to slight him ne? He had grown accustomed to other people taking care of his needs, but he also didn’t want Empress Mother to come help him. Although Empress Mother also seemed very willing, in his heart, he still felt that Empress Mother should be noble and should not do these things for anyone, including himself.
Rong Ting’s hair was so long that he couldn’t wash his hair, and of course Song Yuan couldn’t, either.
When he finished bathing, Song Yuan glanced at his mussed hair.
Rong Ting thought of the men and women he had seen today. Even if the women’s hairstyles were exceedingly strange, the adult men didn’t even bind their hair4!
He couldn’t control others. He knew that, although he was crown prince, in the end he was second-in-command. It was difficult to control too broadly.
Seeing that Empress Mother was staring at his hair, he vigilantly retreated a step, angrily shouting: “Every part of the body is given by the parents5. Empress Mother, don’t even think about touching gu’s hair!”
Song Yuan let out a laugh when she heard his words.
Although she did feel that the child’s hair was a bit long, she also would not go as far as take him to get his hair cut. People in the past seemed to really value their hair. She should not and would not do things that would cause the child to be disgusted and push her away.
“I’m just looking.”
Rong Ting’s mouth was particularly fierce. “Empress Mother had better only be looking.”
Song Yuan thought about it and said: “You also said, every part of the body is given by the parents. If I am really your mom, and if I asked you to cut your hair, would you do it?”
Rong Ting stared at her, the signs of a struggle on his face. The facts proved that Rong Ting was a good hand at throwing pots6. In the face of this kind of issue, he could very quickly spot the loopholes and counterattack. “Every part of gu’s body was given by Empress Mother and Emperor Father. For such a large matter, Empress Mother must first consult with Emperor Father before making a decision.”
Emperor Father absolutely, definitely would not agree!
Song Yuan was defeated. How could this child be so smart!
“Enough talking, drink your milk and go to sleep.”
Rong Ting hesitated, then he returned to his room after pretending to go to the restroom.
Song Yuan was in the process of removing her makeup.
Feeling annoyed by Rong Ting coming in and out, she finally asked: “Are you looking for me for something? If you are then just say it. Swaying back and forth, it’s making me dizzy.”
Rong Ting said somewhat awkwardly: “Gu can’t sleep.”
Song Yuan herself was a student who had only recently just graduated. She didn’t know much about the twists and turns of children. She spoke without care: “Then count sheep ah.”
Seeing Empress Mother treating him so perfunctorily, he felt very discontent. “Gu went through bitter hardships to find you, yet you…”
Before he could finish speaking, Song Yuan squeezed cleansing cream onto her hands and rubbed it into a dense and rich foam on her face. Turning to look at him, her face was white with foam, with only a pair of eyes showing.
Rong Ting stepped back in fright.
“Look at your small guts. I haven’t even put on the face mask yet ne. If I had put on a black face mask, wouldn’t you faint from shock?”
Rong Ting felt angry and embarrassed. As His Highness the crown prince, he had never been openly belittled. “Gu has read the Confucian classics, possesses an extraordinary memory, and has mastered horsemanship and archery under Emperor Father’s teaching. Empress Mother looks down on gu too much!”
Alright, he was exaggerating.
But before he came here, he was already able to hit the center of the target. He could ride a horse, and he wasn’t bad; it was just that he hadn’t gone hunting yet.
Of Emperor Father’s few trusted ministers, who didn’t praise him? Even if Empress Mother didn’t praise him, she still looked down on him.
The little boy’s self-esteem was still terribly high.
Even if she hadn’t eaten pork, she had still seen pigs run7. Thanks to period dramas, Song Yuan knew what children in those dramas were like. So she still believed Rong Ting’s claims.
“Isn’t that sort of thing very hard?” Song Yuan washed off the foam, revealing a completely clean face. She looked at the child with sympathetic eyes and said: “Although children in our time are also very busy, I feel that you probably work harder than them. You’re clearly still a child ah.”
There was a senior in the company who had given birth to a child last year. When her daughter was just a few months old, she had taken her to an early education class… She heard that there was a swimming class, music class, and physical fitness class after that ne! There was even a bicycle riding8 class. When she was young ah, she was freely raised by her parents. She would also happily play every day in kindergarten with her friends. She only really felt the pressure to study when she was in fifth or sixth grade.
Rong Ting puffed out his chest, and with the “faint clouds, soft winds” expression of a cosplaying daren9, he said: “Gu is the crown prince, the heir to the throne. Naturally, gu is not the same.”
“Now tell the truth–have you or have you not secretly cried from exhaustion?” Song Yuan continued, “Liars will wet their beds tonight.”
Rong Ting sighed, looking somewhat helpless. “Empress Mother’s memory is not good. Gu has said, gu could lie to the people under the heavens, but not to Empress Mother.”
When this sort of line that was standard for a romantic, dog-blood novel’s male lead was spoken by a five- or six-year old child, not only did it not feel like rumbling thunder10, it actually gave off another kind of “Su11” feeling ne.
“Gu has cried, but not because of exhaustion.” Rong Ting couldn’t hold back from being his own spokesman and lavishing praise on himself. “How could gu be defeated by his studies and cry from exhaustion?”
“Then why did you cry?” Song Yuan asked casually.
Rong Ting’s expression became complicated.
There was once an ignorant imperial concubine12 who was schemed against by another person. When he coincidentally passed by, he heard “Just a vile spawn who is unwanted by his own mother.” He didn’t know what it meant at the time, but for some reason, his nose stung and tears fell from his eyes. The eunuchs and palace maid accompanying him immediately fell to their knees in fright and begged for mercy. The next day, those two imperial concubines vanished from the palace, and he never saw them again.
He had asked the old palace maid several times if he was not clever, or if he was not obedient, and whether that was why Empress Mother didn’t want him.
The old palace maid heard this and cried bitterly. From then on, she slowly told him little things about Empress Mother.
“Gu doesn’t wish to say,” Rong Ting answered.
“Alright ba. If you don’t want to say it, then don’t say it ba.”
Song Yuan saw that Rong Ting didn’t want to return to his room. Thinking about how this child just said that he had read the Confucian classics, had an extraordinary memory, and had mastered horsemanship and archery, her thinking began to diverge. She flipped through her Moments13 posts from last year, which had photos of her childhood. When comparing them with Rong Ting, she didn’t know if it was her imagination, but she felt that Rong Ting looked very similar to her in her childhood.
Rong Ting also occasionally mentioned his Emperor Father…
When the child was too excellent, it was easy for people to associate it with what his parents were like. Was it two negatives making a positive, or something good becoming even better ne?
If it were the past, she wouldn’t have had any interest in this sort of communally shared cucumber. When reading romance transmigration novels, she quickly discarded ones with an emperor as the male lead.
But now, she was faced with the possibility that her body had transmigrated into ancient times, and that she had had the kid before her eyes with a certain old cucumber.
Then she had no choice but to consider some things.
Song Yuan crouched. Face to face with Rong Ting, she said very seriously: “You said that you wouldn’t lie to me. Then I want to ask you a question. You have to answer me honestly.”
Ever since their reunion, this was the first time Rong Ting had seen Empress Mother show such an expression. He also couldn’t help but feel nervous.
What did Empress Mother want to ask him?
But she had already asked just earlier. What else was there that Empress Mother could be so concerned about?
“I ask you ah.” Song Yuan paused. “Lao huang14, ah, no, your father, the Emperor Father you talk about, is he hot?”
If he was a middle-aged man or even an old fogey, she… AHHHH, she couldn’t accept that she had been so thirsty15 in ancient times!
She nervously stared at Rong Ting.
Rong Ting tilted his head and frowned, a picture of extreme embarrassment.
Song Yuan closed her eyes in agony. “Okay, I know.”
She never expected that she would do this in ancient times. As a senior member of the good-looks club, to have slept with an old cucumber who could be her father or even her grandfather, it was an irrefutably dark history. Just thinking about it made her want to curse all the way down the street like a shrew.
Rong Ting was uncertain. “Empress Mother, what is hot, and what is not hot?”
 Kitty was in English. Probably referring to Hello Kitty
 加绒: I call them fuzzy PJs. I have a set of them myself LOL
 香喷喷: the dictionary said this means “savory” or “delicious” LOLOL but given the context I don’t think that’s the right term
 束发: hairstyles back in the day gave an indication of one’s age, rank, and status (married, unmarried, etc.). And I believe that one’s hair must always be bound outside the bedroom? So it’s rather shocking for Rong Ting to see fully-grown (20+) men walking around without their hair tied up (scandalous..)
 身体发肤，受之父母: from “The Classic of FIlial Piety,” a Confucian text on observing filial piety. Since our body, hair, and skin are given to us by our parents, we observe filial piety by taking care of them, and are considered unfilial by causing harm to them
 甩锅: to push the blame onto someone else
 没吃过猪肉，也见过猪跑: to understand the concept behind something despite not having experienced it yourself
 平衡车课: a class for riding bikes?
 COS大人云淡风轻的表情: to the best of my knowledge, 云淡风轻 is referring to a sort of calm and peaceful expression? Someone on Baidu described it as “in a major event, when everyone is panicking, that one person who has a calm expression.” Or it could also mean indifferent, but I use that word all the time. COS is short for cosplay. I’m not one hundo on what exactly this expression is supposed to look like, though. Mmmmmaybe something like this? (source: weibo.com/u/2124504487)
Gosh, he’s so pretty… ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
 天雷滚滚: something is very illogical and makes you speechless. Seems to be similar in feeling to “being thunderstruck”
 As in Mary Sue
 嫔妃: again, an imperial harem ranking. Probably referring to empress → imperial noble consort (皇贵妃) → noble consort (贵妃) → consort (妃) → imperial concubine (嫔/嫔妃(?)) → the lower rankings (= no residence/palace). The character 妃 seems to refer to the term “consort,” as only the first three rankings below the empress have this character, so perhaps this would be more literally translated as imperial consort, but if that’s the case I wouldn’t know where to place the ranking in the list on Wiki so… imperial concubine it is
 朋友圈: lit. friend circle. WeChat’s semi-private photo sharing function that works a lot like Instagram or Facebook
 老黄: lit. old + yellow. The color yellow is a reference to the royal color (like how Western royalty is associated with the color purple), as well as an abbreviation for the emperor (皇帝; different character, though)
 饥不择食: lit. a hungry person is not picky and choosy
Cheese: does anybody know anyone who has attended one of these bike riding classes LMAO ive literally never heard of something like that in my life
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sy’s entire thought process about rt’s daddy is so hilarious i love it AND WHEN SHE SAYS HES A COMMUNALLY SHARED CUCUMBER i just about lost it
side note: ive been watching someone lp the switch port of rune factory 4 and it got me feeling nostalgic so i started playing the 3ds port of it yesterday.. goodbye productivity….. i only hope that ill be able to update on time next week……….